Posts (page 2)

Every Me And Every You- Placebo

i've been feeeling like this lately..-__-..can relate to this..*nods*

Sucker love is Heaven sent
You pucker up ,our passion`s spent
My heart`s a tart,your body`s rent,
My body`s broken,yours is spent.

Carve your name into my arm,
Instead of stressed,I lie here charmed,
Coz' there`s nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

Sucker love,a box I choose,
No other box I choose to use,
Another love,I would abuse,
No circumstances could excuse.

In the shape of things to come,
Too much poison,come undone,
Coz' there`s nothing else to do,
Every me and every you,
Every me,and every you,
Every me

Sucker love is known to swing,
Prone to cling and waste these things.
Pucker up for Heaven`s sake,
There`s never  been so much at stake.

I serve my head up,on a plate,
It`s only comfort ,calling late,
Coz' there`s nothing else to do,
Every me and every you,
Every me,and every you,
Every me
Every me and every you,
Every me.

Like the naked leads the blind,
I know I`m selfish,I`m unkind,
Sucker love,I always find,
Someone to bruise ,and leave behind.

All alone in space and time,
There`s nothing here,
But what here`s mine,
Something borrowed,somethïng blue,

Every me and every you,
Every me,and every you,
Every me

i dont really blame them....

treat me like i'm somthing that's stuck on the bottom of your shoe..

you wouldn't realy understand how i feel..and mr and mrs fucktard deserved it... they did,not because of what they

said,oh no...it was fun fighting,it's because he is just  dinner table conversation for them,just newer jucier  gossip..

what hurts is that i can't see him...that i cant talk to him...he's awake...i know that

and the 1st thing he asked for when he woke up was "'her"..i know that too

i want to go there..despite the pity i'm going to get from everyone who doesn't understand and the only one who does..

i want to go there despite the fact that i'm not wanted or needed..

its just somthing i have to do...

so i smile and pretend...

weak?..yes...very very weak..

but i've convinced myself it will keep me sane..

that i need those kisses...

that i need this suffocating cocoon..

those kisses with my eyes closed and the smiles i flash that never will be real...

u pretend just as much as i do..

but i love the honesty in your pretense..

does it make sense?

it does to me....

a day will come when  you'll walk away..

and i'll fade or crumble..*sigh*

or grow wings and actually fly

there will be a day when the sake will sparkle like the stars and the lights outside my house..

you wont be there....you wont think about me..

but i will

i will..because i'll learn to thank u for these kisses...

and hate myself for wanting them..

maybe i'll forgive myself for it as well

maybe i'l smile looking out of the window..and light a ciggerate..and forgive the lost girl i  am now

maybe i'll grow wings..

and maybe when the front  door opens ..

i'll be at home

and i'll kiss someone with my eyes closed...

but when i open them...

the smile i flash will be real

once upon a time....

there were rainy days and a million stars,

stories to share on the bolevard.

there was a silent church and the rising tide,

the two of us and a million smiles.

there was the old library and a million books,

a lot of questions that we overlooked.

there were stolen conversations and a million secrets,

reasons to forget and all those regrets.

there were needles and blades and a million cuts,

blood and tears and stories of drugs.

there were millions of unheard silent screams,

and hope found in our fragile dreams.

there was a time we were innocent...long ago,

a time things made sense long before.

before the drugs and the fading dreams,

before the hollow eyes that no longer screamed.

a time when we believed that we would survive,

before a time we no longer cried.

fading away into a million stars,

millions of memories is what we are.

a new piercing

a poem

dreams

a doll

bare acts

clean rooms

birth

diets

sex

coffee..loads and loads of coffee

white wine

lonliness

ciggerettes

kajal

death

disease

love

pain

messages

cornflakes

rain

boys

nailpaint

drugs

money

kisses

i am sooooooooo drunk -__-.. i don't even know how i'm typing straight, am i typig straight?..Gah ! totally give up.. wanna tak ea bath..smell like chinese whisky.ciggeretes and weed and remenets of deoderant...

*grins*..the after party stink  that stays on everyone....

i dont even know why i go there..i love dancing i guess..point to be noted..i dance like a slut and i'm proud of it..*nods* i dont like dancing to trance..cant really dance to it..and no matte rhow much i'd love too..u cant really shake ur ass to marlylin manson...so hip hop it is..*sigh*..which..unless and until i'm not totally sloshed or stoned or both..i dont really enjoy..

gah?!! whats the point o fthis...realy mave chan....ur high

i wish i drank enough to cancel out my thoughts...stupid brain...still thinking of things i'd rather not think about

if i dont believe..

then two whole years would be just a lie...

its not easy to 'not believe'...

its much more difficult to believe..because you cant really hide the cracks....

it wont be long till it all falls apart...

but what if?

what if it was all true...what if it is the end now...

when i find out..i dont know what i want more..

to hate myself for beliving

or to hate myself for not beliving right at the end...

you've not seen so much..

you havn't seen my piercings, you havnt seen my new haircut, you havn't seen  me high, you havnt seen me smoke, you havnt seen me like this...like i am right now...

we havn't done so much...

even though we've done a lot..even though we are supposed  to do alot..we  havn't done so much..  we havn't done so many things i was supposed to do with you

its funny how you are the 1st person i want to try and do random shit with...and how i never have

is it too late now?...i don't really know

i don't know if i'm trying to be strong or if i really am, i want to make you proud of me, i dont want to disappoint you, i want you to love me coz i'm me *smiles*.... just like you always have

i know i'll do the things we were supposed to do coz even if  the sun rises and you're not there....the moonlight is bound to come again later that night.... and i know i'll be ok

 just like when it rains and i'll know i'll be ok

but i'm human and i'm selfish..and i'm scared

coz the rain will stop and the sun will rise again....

and when that happens, i wont know which way to turn

gah!!!!

i'm tired of all of this, i really am *sigh*

this angry little girl is drowning in her petty world.... *sad smile*

i'm scared of who i'm turning into and i'm already sick of who i am now. when did i become like this? I tried so hard not to turn into this monster. i'm seriously scared. when did the things that never really mattered start bothering me so much? when did i start planing and plotting..

thats not who i was..i was the innocent lost drooling bunny .*sad smile*

 i'm a jaded glitzy freak, just like the rest.It serves me right... i thought i was better than them, i looked down on them, i pitied them...

now?..*laughs* now i understand them, i hate them, i envy them, i sympathise with them, i look and them and sadly smile coz i'm either just like them or turning very much into what they are

i wish i could go back to who i was..

i wish i could go back to rainy days in pittsvile or summers in goa. i wish i could go back to the time i had a locker in school or the times i spent in the chemistry lab, i wish i could go back to worrying about the boards and if i'll pass worrying about lunch hour and math class,blades and disprin

i can't and i know it..it's somthing i had to give up to survive,all i'm scared of now is if  giving up all of that was the right choice. i need to survive..not because of anything but the fact that i owe that much to the girl i was before

i need to make my only one true dream come true...and i will...im just scared of how much it will take out of me and how much the journy will change me

the only comforting thing i have now is somthing a friend told me a few days back..i still remind him of who i used to be in eight grade despite how fucked up i've gotten now..*sigh*

i will make that dream come true u know..for who i was before and whatever in me thats left real...*smiles* i just wish that when i do get there i still have somthing in me that reminds me of the girl i used to be, so that i can enjoy it and aprreciate it just as much as 17 year old Mave would

and just when she was about to give up

a poem made her smile;

you'll always be my torch in the dark...

you'll always be my light 

^_^