2 posts from August 2008

so i smile and pretend...

weak?..yes...very very weak..

but i've convinced myself it will keep me sane..

that i need those kisses...

that i need this suffocating cocoon..

those kisses with my eyes closed and the smiles i flash that never will be real...

u pretend just as much as i do..

but i love the honesty in your pretense..

does it make sense?

it does to me....

a day will come when  you'll walk away..

and i'll fade or crumble..*sigh*

or grow wings and actually fly

there will be a day when the sake will sparkle like the stars and the lights outside my house..

you wont be there....you wont think about me..

but i will

i will..because i'll learn to thank u for these kisses...

and hate myself for wanting them..

maybe i'll forgive myself for it as well

maybe i'l smile looking out of the window..and light a ciggerate..and forgive the lost girl i  am now

maybe i'll grow wings..

and maybe when the front  door opens ..

i'll be at home

and i'll kiss someone with my eyes closed...

but when i open them...

the smile i flash will be real

once upon a time....

there were rainy days and a million stars,

stories to share on the bolevard.

there was a silent church and the rising tide,

the two of us and a million smiles.

there was the old library and a million books,

a lot of questions that we overlooked.

there were stolen conversations and a million secrets,

reasons to forget and all those regrets.

there were needles and blades and a million cuts,

blood and tears and stories of drugs.

there were millions of unheard silent screams,

and hope found in our fragile dreams.

there was a time we were innocent...long ago,

a time things made sense long before.

before the drugs and the fading dreams,

before the hollow eyes that no longer screamed.

a time when we believed that we would survive,

before a time we no longer cried.

fading away into a million stars,

millions of memories is what we are.